


Treachery, Villainy, and the Fondue Pot

by Byacolate



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Betrayal, Camping, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5130710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Byacolate/pseuds/Byacolate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mutiny tastes like bullymong cheddar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Treachery, Villainy, and the Fondue Pot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mywordsflyup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywordsflyup/gifts).



> For the prompt that must include the sentence “Are you taking his(her) side against me?” given to me by that rascal mywordsflyup. But you see, your Angst Fishing has activated my trap card: Embarrassing Nonsense.

“Are you seriously taking his side?” Jack narrows his eyes. “Against _me?"_

 

“Simmer down, cowboy.” Nisha‘s eyes are molten gold in the dim flickering of the firelight. “We do this right, or not at all.”

 

“That‘s exactly why I - why are you questioning me?” Jack‘s got a muscle ticking in his jaw and low grade fury in the white clench of his knuckles. “Now, of all times?”

 

“Wouldn't be the first,” she drawls, tugging her gloves off, finger by finger. Jack sneers and falls back, arms folded across his chest.

 

“I literally cannot think of a worse possible time. Is this what it‘s come to, Nisha? Betrayal?” His eyes go hard as flint. “From you, of all people?”

 

Across the camp, Wilhelm‘s grin would be more befitting a wolf. Jack‘s ire spikes.

 

“Didn‘t know fondue was such a deal-breaker,” Wilhelm says, and like he lit a short fuse, Jack detonates.

 

“Are you fucking _kidding me?”_ he says, flinging a hand at the melting pot with disgust. He flicks two fingers out at the snickering duo across from him. “I really don‘t think I‘m exaggerating here when I say this is the worst thing you could have possibly done to me.”

 

“It‘s cheese,” Wilhelm sees fit to remind him, at the same time Nisha muses, “I think you‘re forgetting what we did in the bandit cruiser last Tuesday.”

 

“Okay, first of all, I still haven‘t forgiven you for that,” he says, finger to Nisha. Then to Wilhelm, “Second: Yeah. It‘s fucking cheese. What the fuck did I say was goin' in the pot? ‘Cause either I‘m losing my marbles, or it sure as shit wasn‘t _Pandoran bullymong cheddar_.”

 

“Don‘t knock it ‘til you try it,” Wilhelm says with a shrug and dips one metal finger into the pot. He sucks it off with a pointed slurp. Jack‘s face contorts.

 

“Yeah, okay, I for one am seriously grossed out right now.” He gestures wildly at Wilhelm. “Nisha. Nisha, Nisha, _Nisha_. I expected you to have better taste. _Proper_ taste.” She blinks at him slowly. “’Kay. Gonna ignore that poignant, hurtful silence, and remind you who left the camp to gather firewood like a real rugged hero-type alpha male individual might do, and asked,  _very politely,_ to melt the chocolate while I was away, only to come back to _this_ crime against nature. You know the chocolate I'm talking about? The artisanal dark chocolate imported all the way from Eden-6? The one I packed specifically for this trip?”

 

“Oops,” she deadpans, not sounding very contrite at all as she sticks a hank of skag jerky into the pot. She lifts it slowly to give him a good look at the drips of thick, weirdly green cheese before she takes a vicious bite.

 

”Maybe you should‘ve thought to bring more than one pot,” Wilhelm says, helping himself to Nisha‘s jerky. She doesn‘t even try and swat his hand away like she would if Jack did the same. Rude.

 

“Maybe I should‘ve thought to bring fewer filthy traitors,” he counters. “Can‘t believe you two would pass up chocolate for cheese. Who even does that?”

 

“Scoundrels and thieves,” Nisha says indulgently, waving a long stick of jerky in his direction. He turns up his nose at it. Takes it, but turns up his nose.

 

“I won‘t forget this,” he says, and he‘s tempted,  oh so tempted to kick the fondue pot over into the dirt. “Or forgive it. You know - y‘know _this_ , this is going in the Hyperion database, just for my AI to carry on for all of time. This mutiny will live on forever in the memory of Hyperion.”

 

“Tell the AI what happened last Tuesday, too,” Nisha says, sucking on the cheesy tip of her thumb.

 

Jack... Jack will take that under advisement.

**Author's Note:**

> Inquire about fic requests [here!](http://wardencommando.tumblr.com/ask)  
> If you are so inclined, feel free to follow [my Tumblr](http://wardencommando.tumblr.com/).


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